This Self portrait is made with metallic goldpaint, acrylics and colored pencils on 31.4cm x 30.8cm Wood panel.


I heard a lot of different opinions about this painting. Most of them were quite dark but the reason why I actually painted myself in that way does not even remotely have a dark reason behind it. The reason I painted my self portrait in that way is because I feel very comfortable around the creepy, absurd and weird subjects. When I was little I watched a lot of thrillers or crime shows with my Grandpa and it was one of my favourite things (Which might say a lot about me for some people). 

When I was in Highschool or elementary school I often got labeled as the weird kid because my favourite word was "Organs" (Gedaerme in German) when I was little which didn't have any particular reason except that I liked how the word sounded. After I couple of months, my favourite word was "Giraffe" because I Liked how that sounded and after that It was the word "also" so it didn't mean anything else to me. 
That painting basically just portraits what I personally like and even tho some people speculated about my mental health issues because of that portait, It has nothing to do with that. 
I love the weirdness about my paintings, I love dark, morbid and scary stories. It's what makes me happy. 

Of course you can still interpret anything you want or what it means for you, in that painting but that was basically my meaning behind the painting. 
And last of all, It is important that you stay true to yourself and not put to much weight on words that other people say about you if its not true. If you like it and it makes you happy (doesn't matter what it is), as long as you dont hurt anyone, do it. 
That's what it meant for me and I hope it can remind some people to do the same and stay true to themselves. 

Bitter sweet self portrait